It wasn't that I thought Collin wouldn't need a wheelchair. Because I knew he would. It was just that we weren't ready.
There are so many things in this life with my precious Collin that don't allow the luxury of waiting. They force us to get ready or go under. A wheelchair is not one of those things.
But it is a thing that demands attention. It has a heaviness - full of all kinds of meaning, but foreign and frightening to most of us. It's not something you take on lightly. Sure, it would improve his positioning and yes, he would need it eventually, but I knew that if we went to that place too soon, it would bring on grief.
So we pushed him in too-small strollers and hefted him around on our hips and dipped our toes in the water with a push chair while we sat with the idea of what was coming and got okay with it.
When it finally came last week, I can honestly say that I was excited. Twinged with heartache, but still excited. And now when I look at him in it, I see its bulk and its knobs, but mostly I see the handsome face and healthy body and radiant spirit it is holding up to the rest of us and out to the world.
I'm glad we waited.