Thursday, February 14, 2013

My Funny Valentine

Four years ago today, I was waddling through Target, holding hands with Kyle, glad that I had finished our taxes early, grumpy that I felt so tired and crampy, excited to get serious about putting our nursery together, and totally clueless as to how my life was getting ready to change. I think about that version of me from time to time and wonder at how much she didn't know.

Four years ago today, I knew next to nothing about the special needs community or individual disabilities. I was quick to judge temper tantrums as poor parenting rather than behavior disorders or sensory overload. I had never seen a seizure or a feeding tube or a bipap machine or a pulse oximeter. I thought there was nothing much sadder than a child in a wheelchair.

Four years ago today, I didn't know much about fighting. I thought I had a fighting spirit and I had read a lot about fighting for righteous causes, but I didn't really know what I (with a lot of help) was capable of in terms of endurance or fierceness or dogged perseverance.

Four years ago today, I knew very little about miracles. I thought they were complete healings or impressive spectacles, not split seconds of eye contact or wobbly moments of supported standing.

Four years ago today, I had no idea about whole categories of love.

Four years ago today, I didn't know Collin.

Happy Valentine's Day to me.


5 comments:

  1. Truth yet again. :) Give that little man a big valentine's hug from me.

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  2. I don't know you, but I happened on your blog a long while back and have felt a love for Collin ever since! I love children with different needs, they're my favorites! And I just have to say those are some of the sweetest pictures I've ever seen! I'm currently working in a public school, and see all sorts of people. You're an amazing mom, who is doing so much for her boy! That's an amazing blessing these days, as so many parents leave their children to be "fixed" by public ed! I wish every child I see daily had a family who cared as much as you! Keep up the amazing work!

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  3. tears as I read this...We share so many of the same feelings...Collin is Super Sweet...your an awesome Mommy to him...Happy 4th Birthday Collin...

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  4. Okay, this made me tear up. Happy Birthday, Collin!

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