Four years ago today, I was waddling through Target, holding hands with Kyle, glad that I had finished our taxes early, grumpy that I felt so tired and crampy, excited to get serious about putting our nursery together, and totally clueless as to how my life was getting ready to change. I think about that version of me from time to time and wonder at how much she didn't know.
Four years ago today, I knew next to nothing about the special needs community or individual disabilities. I was quick to judge temper tantrums as poor parenting rather than behavior disorders or sensory overload. I had never seen a seizure or a feeding tube or a bipap machine or a pulse oximeter. I thought there was nothing much sadder than a child in a wheelchair.
Four years ago today, I didn't know much about fighting. I thought I had a fighting spirit and I had read a lot about fighting for righteous causes, but I didn't really know what I (with a lot of help) was capable of in terms of endurance or fierceness or dogged perseverance.
Four years ago today, I knew very little about miracles. I thought they were complete healings or impressive spectacles, not split seconds of eye contact or wobbly moments of supported standing.
Four years ago today, I had no idea about whole categories of love.
Four years ago today, I didn't know Collin.
Happy Valentine's Day to me.