I went through our pictures and videos from the past few years recently in an effort to make some room on my poor old computer (it's not as spry as it used to be and apparently can't handle thousands of pictures of Collin). I hadn't seen many of the early videos in quite a while and one thing I was struck by was how much physical affection I was always pouring on Collin. He was so irritable and uncomfortable from his seizure meds and the only thing I felt like I could do that he understood or that made any difference at all was to hold him and touch him all the time.
Maybe because he has become such a big boy or maybe because he is generally so content, I haven't been cuddling Collin as much recently. Late last week, he went through a period of sleep trouble. He seemed agitated and unable to calm down at bedtime. It hit me one night as I watched him wiggling and gnawing his paci in the monitor that other three year olds can call out for their mom when they feel scared or just can't sleep. Other kids go through clingy stages. And just because Collin can't physically cling doesn't mean that he doesn't have the feeling of clinginess. So I disconnected all of his wires and tubes and took him out of his hip brace and just held him and rocked and sang well past bedtime. When I put him back down, he was a different kid and fell asleep in about 3 minutes.
I've learned my lesson.