Monday, January 18, 2010


We had a quiet, restful 2 days at home together this weekend. Collin was doing great - lots of open eye time, super happy. This morning, I was even practicing a little bit of bottle feeding with him. And then, out of nowhere, he launched into a seizure that scared the crap out of me. I don't know if it was because we're still not that far out from the hospital stay or if it was because things seemed so good, but it really shook me up.

The rest of the day since then has been a blur, just like all of the days when seizures come back: lots of calls to the neurologist, lots of time spent trying to keep Collin awake while we waited for medicine to work, lots of anxious hours watching to see if the seizures were gone, only to have one start just as we had started to relax. It is draining in so many ways and we had to regroup on several occasions to keep ourselves from spiraling downward.

I wish I could say that it's over now, but I'm actually taking my turn on seizure watch while Kyle gets a breath of fresh air and takes a shower (I just had my turn). We're down to our last option for home treatment and if it doesn't work, we'll be heading back to the hospital. I can't tell you how much I hope that doesn't happen. We need a break so badly.


  1. We're praying fiercely for respite for you all, for a chance to catch your breath and regain focus. God has answered every one of our prayers so far... He will come through again, I know! Love you (even when you don't shower!).

  2. I wish I was not on this side of the computer screen and I could give you a hug. We are praying and thinking of you. If there is anything else we can do, please let us know.

  3. i second those emotions. sending hugs and prayers and a whole lotta love.
    also, we'll be in your neighborhood tomorrow afternoon, if you can stand a visit and any farm goodies (eggs, sweet potatoes, pumpkins, garlic)--give a call.

  4. I hate seizures. I hate the way the word looks on my computer screen and the way it sounds coming out of my mouth. I'm going to change tactics and just focus a lot my righteous anger on them. Maybe I'll scare them away.