Tuesday was my 30th birthday. After getting home from dinner with friends, Collin had a seizure that was unlike any we had seen before. I won't try to describe all the ways in which that was supremely difficult for me. Since then, we have consulted with his pediatrician and neurologist, who agree that the seizure was likely due to a lowered seizure threshold from his fever this weekend, but we didn't know that Tuesday night and I went to sleep crying. This was not something I expected for my 30th birthday and it spurred me to compile this list:
Things I Didn't Expect For My 30th Birthday (in no particular order):
1. Being on antidepressants
2. Being this much more in love with Kyle
3. Having a son with a seizure disorder and undiagnosed neurological issues.
4. Being addicted to crochet like an old granny.
5. Knowing more about g-tubes, meds, and seizures than many medical professionals.
6. Anxiously awaiting approval from Medicaid.
7. Not being able to answer my birthday calls because I'm up to my elbows in Collin poop.
8. Being this open to accepting help when we need it.
9. Feeling simultaneously so fierce and helpless as a mother.
10. Still getting pimples.
11. Missing Collin when I go to the grocery store.
12. Being so honest about such personal things.